I don’t get why they do it in the movies. That moment. Where everyone gets to say their peace. Where the bad guys get their comeuppance. The heroine gets her moment where in one, oh-so-satisfying-monologue she gets to smack down everyone who’s wronged her (usually in the rain) and then ride off into the sunset, satisfied in the knowledge that those bad guys/jerks/ex-boyfriends just know that their lives are worse off without her. (And the production crew helpfully turn off the rain. Because no-body who’s had to survive 90-odd minutes of gut wrenching heartache should have to ride off into the rain. Oh dear very lordy, the horror.)
Because it doesn’t always happen like that. Sometimes, you don’t get that final moment of closure. Sometimes, you don’t get a happy ending. Sometimes, you just have to exhale and let go, and walk away knowing that you’re never going to really ever be the same, but knowing that somehow, it’s the right thing to do. Inhale, exhale.
I’m pretty sure I don’t get a monologue moment here. It’s going to forever be the itch that I just cannot scratch, because jerk. I have so many things to say, and I’ll be dammed if I’ll be the first person to talk. It’s a Mexican-effing-stand-off and I deserve to sit up here on my high horse and wait for you to come and smooth things over.
Except you wont. It’s not that you don’t care about the damage you’ve done here. You do. But you’re too gutless. Too scared of the effort that it will take to fix this mess, so you’re just going to hide from it. You ran, and like a child, you left everyone else behind to clean up your mess. You were supposed to be a friend, but you devastated me. Over and over again. Humiliated me. Completely and utterly ruined the happy, trusting person who did nothing but love you like a friend. Say what you like, but you were not my friend. You didn’t love me. Because you don’t destroy the person you love.
So here’s the argument we never had. The sad fact of the matter is, I’ll probably never speak to you ever again. Three months ago, I was convinced that you were one of those people who would be in my life forever and here we are. At the turning point. At the point where I’m about to walk away, and the thing is, I think you’re going to let me.
Inhale. Exhale. Change is good, right?