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Pokemon Go.
Gotta go catch all them advertisers.

 

Those mad geniuses have cooked up the most data rich, targeted, personalised advertising platform the world has ever seen.

 

It’s Tuesday night.  It’s the coldest fecking day in Melbourne all year (I’d argue, all century, personally…) and I haven’t bought the bins in yet.  Ugh.  So out I reluctantly trudge to diligently retrieve them from the nature strip.

Weirdly, I’m not alone.  Not even a little bit.  There are literally half a dozen people out on the street in conditions that can only be described as ANTARCTIC (shouty caps for maximum impact), staring at their iPhones.

Pokemon Go.  If you haven’t heard about the app phenomenon that has the entire world wandering the streets staring at their phones, then, well tbh I wouldn’t actually blame you.  It’s been around for six days.  That’s right.  Six days.  Less than a week.  The world has officially gone mad.

Back inside, I check my app.  There’s some sort of purple confetti situation out on our street, which a quick Google reveals to be some weird temporary Pokemon crack that makes them all appear and I’m urged to QUICKLY (sheesh, Reddit folk.  Why so much drama??) go out and round them all up.  Which would require leaving the central heating and the couch and my glass of pinot, and well priorities, you know?  *pours herself another glass and surfs Netflix*

Scrolling through Twitter reveals just as much madness.  Since it’s launch on July 6, this app has added an estimated $11 billion to Nintendo’s share price, and it hasn’t even launched in Japan yet.  (Let’s get some popcorn and watch those servers crash, folks!)
We all know how this show goes.  Either we all lose our minds for a few weeks and then lose interest (goldfish have longer attention spans than millennials) OR Nintendo can keep the evolution and interest rolling long enough to give birth to the next social/VR high roller.

With great power comes great advertising possibilities.

Friends, I don’t mean to be that person at the party already, but if Nintendo can turn this into one of the Big Five, we’re in for a whole world of advertiser pain.  Right now we’re in those sweet, carefree days of new love.  Remember Instagram before the sponsored posts and curated timeline?  Remember Facebook before it started shoving any product you’d ever casually browsed in to every spare pixel of space?  Ahhhh.  Those were good times.

And this?  This is a far greater beast than any of the others combined.  We are literally giving a Big Corporate unrestricted access into our every, tiny, GPS-tracked move.  Nintendo knows where you are (even when you’re not on a Pikachu hunt, read the T&C’s, folks), for literally every single minute of the day.
And heck, I’m not even angry.  Those mad geniuses have cooked up the most data rich, targeted, personalised advertising platform the world has ever seen.  The internet angels are literally singing songs about it’s glory.  It’s purpose built to reach a highly engaged, captive audience, with a relevancy that marketers could never have imagined.

Just picture it.  You’re casually hunting down Charmander in the local Woolies and BAM.  A scrolling banner lets you know about the special on dishwashing detergent in aisle 11 – because Nintendo know you’re in the supermarket right now.
Or it’s Friday night and you’re rolling past all Pokestops.  (What? My Poke Ball stash is getting low).  That’s hungry work, guys.  But never fear – there’s a pizza place a few blocks up, and if you just click the pop up, it’ll place your order AND let you know when it’s ready.  So you don’t loose one single minute of available Pokemon Go time.

Right now, just look at how much bloody time we are spending in this thing.  More than Instagram and Whats App in under a week.  (Also if you think I’m only spending 25 mins on Insta each day, you are dreaming, Social Bakers…)

Time Spent on Pokemon Go

Just think of the advertising, folks.  (WHY WON’T SOMEONE JUST THINK OF THE ADVERTISERS?!?!  Sorry, couldn’t resist…)  You can just smell those media dollars, can’t you?  Brands are already jumping on the bandwagon, and if our obsession continues to grow, don’t be too shocked to see those VR OOH billboards start popping up next to Squirtle.

You have been warned.  So I don’t wanna see a single dummy spit when the advertisers roll in, kids… *shakes fists*

 

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